Caregiving 101: Part Seven: What Comes After

My mom and I put the stamp on my dad’s 2018 tax return in March of 2019. That was it, I thought, the last thing I have to do for him. All the papers had been filed, the stuff sorted, the bills paid, the money disbursed, and the responsibility done. I was finally free. True,

Caregiving 101: Part Six: Grief and Loss

October 13, 2018 was a long day. My brother picked up my car to work on it, while my mom and I replaced my bed and took a trip to the dump. We then went to my brother’s to pick up my car. I got home late and had barely settled down for the night

Caregiving 101: Part Five: Living Situations

When I took over as primary caregiver for my dad, my immediate concern was moving him. He lived alone in an apartment, almost an hour away from me, and he wasn’t safe where he was. At the time, I knew nothing about what help or places were available to people in his situation. My first

Caregiving 101: Part Four: Feeling Alone

I took deep breaths, frantically thinking through the implications of my decision. It was hard to keep calm when I so desperately wanted to do the right thing. I had a specific deadline to meet to move my dad from his current unsafe living situation by himself in an apartment. I had done research, I

Caregiving 101: Part Three: Balance and Boundaries

It was 4:30 am. My phone vibrated incessantly next to me. I blinked blearily at the screen, recognizing it was Dad. Again. I had lost count of how many times he’d called me already. I had as many messages as I did missed calls. Each voicemail was similar: I was trying to steal his money,

Caregiving 101. Part Two: Changes

As you begin to live the caregiving life, you will notice changes: behavioral, mental, emotional, and physical. Handling these changes will be a big part of your life. A caregiver watches someone transform before their eyes. It is incredibly painful, seeing the person you know disappear. But whether the changes are subtle or sudden, they

Caregiving 101. Part One: The Diagnosis

Dad was sixty-one and I was twenty-nine when we learned he had been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. What is Alzheimer’s? Despite my proximity to this disease, I am no expert. If you have more questions about it, I recommend you talk to what specialists we have, but it’s a disease that is confusing, even

Everything Looks Better From On Top of a Lap

Today marks the twelfth anniversary of my grampa’s death. I’d love to use my blog post this month as an opportunity to showcase the kind of man he was and how he always made me feel safe and loved. Sleepily, I open my eyes, confused by not being in my own bed. The lacy comforter

Are You Happy?

Recently, I heard someone say that when people asked her if she was happy, she didn’t know how to answer the question. My mind immediately began to ponder for myself: am I happy? Is anyone happy? What is happiness? The question she struggles with seems to be a recurring theme in our media. Over and

Surrender

We stand facing each other, You and I, the feet-trampled grass stretching between us.  You look relaxed, confident, steady.  I am trembling, exhausted, tense.  You hold the rope gently, but firmly.  I look down at the bloody-raw mess of my hands, burned from gripping so tightly.  Your feet are planted on the ground, and they